Bush Calls U.S. a Nation of Prayer

President Bush, right, takes part in the National Day of Prayer, Thursday, May 4, 2006, in the East Room at the White House in Washington. Left to right are Father Charles Conner, Scranton, Pa., Rabbi Sholom Ciment, Palm Beach, Fla., Bush. (AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)


This is off Yahoo News:

WASHINGTON - President Bush said Thursday that America's history is inexorably tied to prayer.

"America is a nation of prayer. It's impossible to tell the story of our nation without telling the story of people who pray," Bush said during a White House celebration of the National Day of Prayer. "At decisive moments in our history and in quiet times around family tables, we are a people humbled and strengthened and blessed by prayer."

Now before you start screaming curses at me, I want you to know that I believe and support the president 100 percent on this issue of America's history being tied to prayer. I say this not because I believe that America is a religious nation, born out of the persecution of extremist religious groups--the Puritans, the Quakers, the Pilgrims and the Calvinists--in Old World Europe, who decided to risk the hardships of crossing the Atlantic to settle and live in an unexplored, and possibly hostile land, where they can worship and pray to God as they please. I say this because somewhere in our genes, we have been hard-wired to pray to God, whether we are Evangelical religious wing-nuts who claim that God told us to invade Iran, evil Satanistic devil worshippers who dream of sacrificing blond virgins, or even liberal, atheistic Mr. Spock-wannabes--We all pray to God, whether we consciously know it or not.

You don't believe me?

Through the miracles of modern scientific research, advanced NSA computer technology, and a little prayer of our own, we are able to tap into the modern prayer line and monitor American citizens prayers to God. And it is not just the folks sitting in The 700 Club studio audience that are praying. Consider these prayers we have tapped into:

Oh MY GOD! Who tracked mud on the floor--after I have just cleaned and mopped it?

Dear God, please let me pass my history/math/grammar test? I promise that next time I will study, rather than learning about French with Danielle!

God, I hate broccoli for dinner!

Oh please God, let me be re-elected this year! I promise I will start driving hydrogen-fueled cars, rather than my gas-guzzling SUV!

God I hope I don't end up in a Texas state prison--Damn that Ronnie Earle!

God I wish the Exxon shareholders double my paycheck next year to $800 million.

Dear God--Please get me out of Iraq, so I can see my family again!

Let us pray. Dear God in Heaven--Give us the strength to fight your holy battles against Satan and his evil minions such as Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, and that we may partake in the glory and love of your busom with cheap oil for the righteous United States. And please make sure that our donations to The 700 Club are doubled.

Dear Allah, please let me shoot this American-made machine gun without blowing my foot off! [OOPS--Wrong prayer!].

Oh GOD--why did I do that?

God, I'm suppose to be The Decider--right? Can you tell me how I'm suppose to decide?

These are just a few of the prayers that we Americans say every day. President Bush is right--prayer is tied within our nation! So let us celebrate this National Day of Prayer. What prayers would you like to say today?