Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Some strange thoughts and comments

My apologies for not commenting on news and politics here for the past couple of days. It seems that I've been under the weather with some nasty virus--probably the flu. What does one do when one gets the flu? For myself, it's take Nyquil, drink lots of orange juice and hot tea, and then go to bed and sleep. Of course there's other home-spun remedies of chicken-noodle soup, sifter of brandy (Actually frozen Jaegermeister is much better for a cough), Vick's vapor rub, and who knows what else--as long as it makes you feel better.

So, Sunday late afternoon I crawled into bed to sleep. And I ended up sleeping until about 3 a.m. in the morning, when I woke up and found I couldn't sleep anymore. Granted, I'm tired, I still feel like crap, I want to go to sleep again--but I can't. So what does one do when they can't sleep at 3 a.m. in the morning?

They turn on the boob tube.

And what a wasteland television can be at 3 a.m. in the morning. As I flipped through the channels to find something to watch that could make me fall asleep, all the stations were playing their paid advertisements--the infomercials. Yes, you too can purchase the Ginsue steak knives for $19.95 (Regular price $69.95), the Chuck Norris Abs-Thighs-and-Buns Burner, where only with a 15-minute a day workout--you too can look like Chuck. Or perhaps you'd like to purchase the Ronco Pocket-Diaper-Steamer? I didn't stay long enough to learn the benefits of the Ronco Pocket Diaper Steamer. And then, I saw a commercial that just about made my jaw drop. It appears that "CHiP's," star Erik Estrada was pitching retirement community homes in Bella Vista Village, in Northwest Arkansas.

CHiP's star Erik Estrada as Frank Poncherello.

If you don't believe me, here's the video link.

Excuse me? Chips macho man Frank Poncherello is selling old geezer homes in Arkansas? Would the Bella Vista Homeowners Association approve of Ponch roaring down the quiet tree-lined streets on his Kawasaki KZ-900P motorcycle, with a legion of his female fans chasing after him waving signs saying, "We Love You Ponch!" Or perhaps there would be a sixty-year old lady, sitting in the Scooter chair, holding a sign saying, "I want to have your baby?" Ponch in a retirement community? Then again, maybe Ponch could make it in a retirement village. He could be employed in the Bella Vista security, considering his impressive CHiP's resume of chasing bad guys on his motorcycle. But instead of chasing them down on his Kawasaki, Ponch could chase them down on his Celebrity X 3 Wheel Electric Scooter, with a top speed of 6 mph. Blow the rest of those old geezer's scooter chairs to dust! And yes, he could still be the community's babe magnet, while posing on his scooter cycle, wearing his Bella Vista security officer's uniform. I had to shake my head and laugh in delirium.

Time to go back to bed.

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